fitness

The Dating Game

It’s been awhile, a LONG while, since I posted something on here. I know I apologize for it a lot, but the truth is that with Ireland and the holidays and whatnot I just haven’t been that focused on fitness and meal prep. My meal prep has mostly consisted of crockpot meals (all recipes I’ve made before) and variations of my egg muffins for breakfast.

Truthfully, I just didn’t know what to write, so I didn’t.

15590446_10206440883820686_4707778340719018335_n.jpgSidenote: I adopted a dog last week, her name is Kona. Cute AF, right? But people don’t lie when they say dogs are a lot of work, I’ll tell you that. I got Kona from a humane society which has resulted in MAJOR separation anxiety. She follows me EVERYWHERE and freaks out when I’m not around (i.e., having an accident in the house while I’m in the shower)… but we’re working on it. She’s really a great dog when she feels at ease. She’s starting doggy daycare once a week next week and I’m hoping the socialization will help her get over her struggles a bit. The weather was GORGEOUS on Sunday so I took her for a run with me and she did fairly well. She stopped a couple of times from pure distraction but I was OK with that because that run was a struggle for me anyway.

Anyway, I finally got an idea for a blog topic yesterday so I figured I should put something together. A little back story —

I am single. I am also actively dating. I firmly believe that if you don’t put yourself out there, you’re never going to meet somebody. Going to the same bars, same restaurants all the time and hanging out with the same people over and over again is going to result in not expanding your social circle… and not meeting anyone new. I’m on all the online dating sites… Tinder, Bumble, Match… and I have 0 shame about it. It’s not scary to me. Our generation and the generations after me spend SO much time on social media; meeting someone through an app isn’t a big deal. I know there’s a mass amount of people that would disagree and that’s fine, to each their own.

That being said, I’d like to tell you a story about a recent dating experience I had.

I started hanging out with this guy, let’s call him Jack, who I thought had really good potential relationship-wise. He responded to texts quickly (WHOA), made the initiative to hang out, told me that he was looking for an ‘actual’ relationship, had a decent job, didn’t live with his parents, etc. He also works out daily and makes health/fitness a priority in his life. This may seem like a minor detail, but when you spend a lot of time at the gym or meal prepping etc., it’s important that your significant other either does so as well, or that they at least understand/respect it/support it.

I’m a routine type of person during the week, which may seem weird to some people because of how much I travel and how spontaneous I am most of the time. I wake up at 4:30am, go to the gym (either Crossfit or cardio), come home and get ready for work, and then I’m there until 5 or so and I have my weeknights free. If I know that I’m going to be out late one night, I’ll rearrange my schedule the next day so that I can work out after work and get a little bit more sleep. It’s a flexible routine but my workouts are a priority and I make sure to fit one in.

Back to Jack — when we initially started talking, we went through the common questions of “why aren’t you seeing someone” and “what happened with your last relationship” or “what are your downfalls when it comes to dating.” I flat out told Jack that I have had issues in the past with guys I’ve been seeing not understanding that my workouts are a top priority. I’ve had issues with guys not understanding why I won’t stay out until 2am with them on a Tuesday night. I’ve had issues with guys not understanding why I don’t want to sleep over on a Monday if I don’t have any gym clothes with me for the morning.

Now, no man has ever told me that it’s been a problem, but it’s always just been one of those things that you can tell is an issue. Yesterday, though, I got a text from Jack, telling me that he didn’t think we should continue to see each other because “I have a lot going on.” When I asked him to elaborate, he said “You have Crossfit.” “You have a dog.” “You have a lot of friends.”

………..excuse me, what? We’ll ignore Jack’s dog & friend comments because those are just really stupid excuses.

I have ALWAYS been an advocate for prioritization. I live by the mantra “if someone wants you in their life, they’ll make an effort to be in it.” If I like someone, and want to spend time with them, they’ll be a priority. End of story. Just like my workouts are.

I have goals, I have standards for myself and I have things I enjoy doing.

I like working out. I’ve come a long fucking way from 4 years ago when I would REFUSE to step foot in a gym. I like my routine. I enjoy waking up early and having my nights free. It’s stress relief. It’s healthy. It makes me a stronger person both physically and mentally to do these things. It’s something I do… for myself.

I was a little upset when I first read the text message. I liked Jack. I had fun with Jack. Buuut then I came to my senses and realized that if someone cannot accept my goals and ambitions, if someone cannot see how much of a dedicated person I am, if someone cannot respect my passions and my GOOD habits… they’re clearly not the right person for me.Turning down a sleepover for going out drinking during the week is not something that somebody should ever be criticized for.

Want to criticize me for spending too much time on social media? Go ahead.

Want to criticize me for not prioritizing you? Do it.

Want to criticize me for dating 5 guys at the same time? Might as well.

Want to criticize me for drinking too much? I’d probably agree with you.

Want to criticize me for lying? I deserve it.

Want to criticize me for making my health and fitness a priority? Go to hell.

I’ve worked hard to be where I’m at. I’ve worked hard to make healthy lifestyle changes. I’ve worked hard to adjust my habits and I’ve learned to love every second of it. It will never change, it’s part of who I am now. If somebody wants to change me or make me something that I’m not, they aren’t the right person for me. A relationship should involve mutual support and constant cheering from the sidelines. Jack got upset the second night of us hanging out because I wanted to be home by 11pm. It was a Thursday. Jack would make a terrible support system.

So thank you, Jack. For not wasting any more of my time and helping me to realize that not everyone is as good as their initial interaction may make them seem. I will never let a man try to change my good habits like you did.

Here we are people, back to square one.

have-you-met-my-boyfriend-the-gym-2-16878-1438285827-5_dblbig.jpg

If you have any single friends, let me know. 

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