As many of you know, my grandfather passed away early Sunday morning around 1:30am. My aunt and mom went to the hospice to say their final goodbyes and then he was shipped off. I got the news around 6:30am.
This is the first time that I’ve had to deal with the death of someone close to me. In college, one of my coworkers died in a car accident. That was hard, but I had only known her for a few months. When you have a relationship with somebody, the toll that it takes on you is completely different.
I won’t sit here and make it seem like I had a super close relationship with my grandfather, because that’s not true. I will say, though, that he’s the only grandparent that I’ve had any type of relationship with. One of my grandma’s passed when I was very young, the other before I was born. My dad’s dad is still alive but I haven’t seen or talked to him in several years. Grandad was really the only grandparent that I’ve known.
I think the hardest part about the whole thing is my mom. My mom has been through a lot and she’s a very strong woman. Seeing her helpless over something is very depressing, especially when I’m helpless as well.
We all know, though, that he’s in a better place. He’s no longer suffering like he has been for the past year. He’s at peace, and that in itself gives us piece of mind.
This isn’t a long post because I’m trying to control my emotions — the more I think about it/write about it, the more real it becomes again.
I will say that situations like this definitely give perspective. I’ve done so much thinking over the past two weeks and a ton of self reflection. I’m trying to figure out who I really am, what makes me happy and what people I need to cut out of my life (I’ve actually already started on that one). Life is too short to waste dealing with crappy situations or crappy people…. so don’t. That’s that.
Love & Miss you Grandad. Until we meet again.