As 99% of you know, I used to be very overweight and it took me about 16 months to get to my goal weight when I finally decided to make that change. That was back in 2014.

Since then, I gained back about 10 of those pounds and I have been more than OK with it. I super deprived myself when I was trying to reach my goal, and for the past 3 or so years, I feel like I’ve reached a good “balance” between paying attention to what I’m eating, working out, yet still having a nice big beer and a burger.

The past couple of months, however, have been difficult for me. I’ve always been an emotional eater – always. That’s how I got the way that I was. I eat when I’m bored, I eat when I’m stressed, sad — basically any mood other than “happy.”

I got a dog, then bought a house, then my grandpa passed.

Needlesstosay, it’s been a couple of stressful months. It’s all over with now – I’ve adjusted to all of the new situations and whatnot, but I have not been able to get myself back on track when it comes to eating. I have 0 willpower. I just don’t care anymore about it, and it’s starting to bite me in the ass.

I’ve gained about 10 pounds over the past couple of months. It may not seem like a lot, but for someone who worked so hard and so long to lose weight – it’s really fking sucky. But I keep failing at getting my shit together.

The worst part is that I can tell, personally. Not that I’m “bigger” persay, but that I struggle more with my workouts. I struggle more with my running. I’m fatigued when I shouldn’t be just because I’m fueling my body incorrectly.¬†Luckily, I haven’t given up on the whole “workout” thing; I still go every day. But it is harder to get me there and harder for me to give my full effort.

And I hate it.

So, I decided to write this here because I want to start being held accountable. I’m going to start tracking my food intake again. I’m going to stop buying snacks. I’m going to stop eating an entire pint of Halo Top any time I get upset. And for Christ Sakes I need to stop drinking so much gosh darn beer.

My goal here is to just lose those 10 pounds that I re-gained. I’m hoping that it won’t take much, seeing as my weight fluctuates like nobody’s business, but regardless I need to do it. I need to get back to where I was.

If anyone wants to sign up for a 5k, go for a hike, introduce me to a new workout class – I’m all for it. I need the extra motivation anywhere I can get it.

Wish me luck!

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